Jay Spade

Jayson “Jay” Spade was a lively force whose quick wit, unwavering determination, and boundless curiosity left a lasting impression on everyone he met. He thrived under pressure, pushed boundaries, and never hesitated to share a kind word or a hearty laugh. Friends and family remember him as a vibrant storyteller, an intrepid adventurer, and a patient guide who made life feel like a grand expedition.

In the spring of 1965, the space race was heating up, and the world brimmed with hopes of exploring new frontiers. Against this optimistic backdrop, Jay arrived in Kalamazoo, Michigan, on April 22, born to Jerry and Kay (Cook) Spade. His parents, both teachers, instilled in him a belief that any horizon could be reached with enough passion and perseverance.

Growing up in Portage and attending Portage Northern, Jay approached life with equal parts curiosity and mischief. Winter outings like ice fishing with his dad turned unforgettable when he once singed a hole in his snowpants on a Coleman stove, earning him a stern lecture from his mother, but also a fun story that’d be recalled for many years. From an early age, he dreamed of a military career, even digging foxholes behind the house with his friends. He also loved collecting comic books, absorbing stories of heroes who saved the day; an echo of the ideals that guided his own ambitions.

Jay's parents proudly cheered him on as he ran in cross country. His distinctive long hair would fly as he crossed finish lines, unwavering in his quest for self-improvement. He became one of the youngest Eagle Scouts in the region, forging friendships and memories through scouting trips. One cherished adventure was a 1980 scouting trip across western Europe. His parents joined them as they camped from place to place, an experience that broadened his outlook and nurtured a deep respect for different cultures. Jay also excelled in forensics and debate, consistently impressing peers and judges at the state level. Even then, he was the kind of person who refused to back down from a challenge.

After high school, Jay’s passion for service led him to ROTC at Michigan State, where he trained for airborne and ranger school in the summers. Eager to explore every avenue of growth, he earned multiple certifications—Pathfinder, Ranger, and Airborne—before formally enlisting in U.S. Army. He completed a Bachelor’s at MSU, then went on to earn a Master’s from Troy State, along with credentials from the U.S. Army War College. If there was a mountain to climb or an exam to pass, Jay met it with unflinching determination.

Serving 30 years in the Army as an Airborne Ranger, Jay took pride in multiple deployments from the Panama invasion to Desert Storm, Entrensic Freedom, and many more. He never failed to write letters home, infusing distant warzones with a sense of closeness. His father often shared these letters with his students, and Jay would sometimes visit in person, captivating classrooms with his stories, maps, and gear. He offered a vivid window into places most children only read about, planting seeds of curiosity and courage in young minds.

During his service, Jay met Lucy Abelt, a fellow Airborne Soldier, whose desire to learn and spirited nature matched his own. Their bond was sealed by endless conversations, dancing, and movie outings. They welcomed two children, Rachel and Rebecca (“Becca”). At home, Jay stroked imaginations by helping design costumes for anime conventions. Rachel and Becca both inherited his drive, Rachel launching art-based businesses while still in high school and Becca winning 3rd pace at a state level filmmakers festival. Jay reveled in their shared passions, dressing up alongside them and diving fully into each day of the conventions.

Jay retired after 30 years of service at the rank of Colonel and received the Legion of Merit award. Following his Army retirement, Jay worked as a contractor for a company called Strategic Technologies Analytics Group (STAG), yet he still craved new frontiers. Scuba diving became his next big pursuit—he introduced his brother Shaun to underwater exploration, guiding dives through eerie salt mines, shark-inhabited waters, and hidden shipwrecks. Pitch-black waters never deterred Jay; to him, every shadowy corridor held promise rather than danger. He emboldened others with his contagious courage, encouraging them to push beyond their comfort zones.

The Spade family cottage in South Haven remained a cherished sanctuary. Summers there were filled with laughter, lake swims, and towering “drippy sandcastles” that showcased a playful spirit. He kept a “man-shed” in Boerne, Texas, devoting hours to building detailed military tank models—ranging from U.S. designs to Russian and German—and was just about to tackle airplane models next. A voracious reader of Stephen King and sci-fi, and anything history related, Jay could often be found with a book under his arm when he wasn’t off adventuring. His unorthodox preference for egg whites over “yellers” became a family joke, one more quirk that made him unforgettable.

Steeped in gratitude for his own experiences, Jay found countless ways to share knowledge with others. He participated actively in VFW Post #688, forging bonds with fellow veterans and occasionally pulling out his well-worn maps to illustrate a tale. Even late in life, he remained enthralled by the joys of diving, running, or simply finding creative ways to connect with those around him.

Jayson “Jay” Spade died on March 2, 2025, leaving behind a profound legacy of warmth, adventure, and curiosity. In his final days, he stayed open-hearted, radiating the same optimism that guided him from his earliest foxhole escapades to his bravest undersea explorations. Friends and family will remember the sparkle in his eyes, his childlike enthusiasm for every new challenge, and his fearless drive to do the impossible. Whenever they step into a costume, lace up running shoes, or face a murky unknown, they’ll hear Jay’s voice urging them onward—his memory echoing like a rally cry to embrace life’s grandest adventures.

Jayson Spade of Boerne, Texas, formerly of Portage, Michigan, is preceded in death by his mom, Kay. Surviving are his dad, Jerry; wife, Lucy; children: Rachel and Becca; brother, Shaun Spade; and his “Sis,” Mary Spade.

Mass will be celebrated Thursday, June 5, at 4pm at St. Peter the Apostle Catholic Church in Boerne, Texas. Burial on Friday, June 6, at 11 AM at Fort Sam Houston National Cemetery. A reception will follow at St. Peter the Apostle Catholic Church. Celebrate Jay’s life online by sharing your favorite stories and photos on his dedicated webpage at BetzlerLifeStory.com. Memorial contributions may be made to American Cancer Society or Wounded Warriors Project. Betzler Life Story Funeral Homes, 6080 Stadium Drive, Kalamazoo, MI 49009. (269) 375-2900.