Ellen Kaufman

Ellen was born in Cheyenne, Wyoming on March 21, 1927. Her father, from a family who had lived for generations in Frederick, Maryland, came West to work as a railroad engineer for the Union Pacific; her mother was the 13th child of Irish immigrants. Both sides deeply shaped Ellen’s views, values, and sense of humor; she was a person of grit and grace. Her father’s position at the railroad made the early years comfortable for Ellen and her younger sister, Ora, even during the Depression – they traveled by train on vacations to Salt Lake City, shopping trips to Denver, and visits out East to Maryland. However, her father died when she was a teenager, bringing financial hardship to the family – Ellen learned young about counting pennies. She was also brilliant - she became the Valedictorian of St Mary’s High School class in Cheyenne which landed her a scholarship to Rosary College in River Forest, Illinois (thus trading the winds of Wyoming for the winds of Chicago). There she majored in Economics with a minor in History – the former a guiding force in her future budgeting and financial planning prowess, the latter a lifelong love with an astute ability to apply the lessons of history to current political affairs, both foreign and domestic. She was the one you wanted on your Trivial Pursuit team!

After graduation, Ellen moved back to Cheyenne to help her mother and was hired by the Navy Adjutant’s Office. An application by one Bob Kaufman came through, which listed a hometown address in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin. She reached out to ask if he knew her college friend, Norma, who was also from his hometown. Bob did know Norma, and he and Ellen struck up a conversation. That conversation grew into a three-year courtship, often across hundreds of miles, as Bob completed his service, and continued his studies. They were married in 1953 in Frederick, Maryland, her father’s hometown. Ellen worked as an editorial assistant for a newspaper in the Washington DC area, while Bob finished his PhD at American University (clearly Ellen was deeply in love since she was willing to edit Bob’s doctoral dissertation). 1959 was an eventful year: their first daughter, Marianne, was born in DC, Bob graduated and accepted a position as a professor at Western Michigan University, and the young family moved to Kalamazoo, MI. Daughters Julie and Carol were born over the next few years.

Ellen created a home for her family, overseeing homework and piano practice, chauffeuring kids to art camps and tennis matches, and cooking. And she could cook - everything from meatloaf to beef bourguignon, and no one will forget her German chocolate cake or prized brownies. Dinnertime at the Kaufman home was an event – candles, tablecloth, and classical music, with sometimes hours of conversation of philosophy and politics. She made sure the girls had a Catholic education sending them to St. Augustine Elementary School and then Msgr. Hackett High School. Ellen and Bob strongly supported educational goals, and each of their daughters went on for post-Baccalaureate degrees.

Ellen was central to family trips to Wisconsin and Wyoming to visit relatives, organizing suitcases, preparing picnic lunches, and finding budget hotels with swimming pools. Outside of family trips, Ellen loved the home she and Bob created together and greatly enjoyed the wooded flora and fauna surrounding it. She would spend many hours watching the cardinals, blue jays, and goldfinches outside her kitchen window, or reading the newspapers on the screened-in porch. This home was her retreat and sanctuary. In Bob’s retirement, however, they did take a number of special trips. Her favorites were to Colorado to visit family, to Ireland to visit the home of her grandmother, and to Alaska – a trip with friends who knew how to keep the laughter going.

While mastering all that raising three children and caring for a family brings, Ellen gave generously of her time. Along with countless school field trips and “class mother” stints, she also volunteered to direct the library at St. Augustine School. She recorded books on tape for blind students at WMU, ran a bible study group at the parish, and volunteered to help women in need with referrals to resources. While she was very modest about her musical talent, she was an accomplished pianist and played the organ at weekly mass at the state hospital.

As Ellen’s family with Bob grew to include four grandchildren and two great-grandchildren, her heart filled with even more joy. She was a caring, loving and wise grandmother and great-grandmother, gently guiding in her new role.

Ellen will be deeply missed – she touched the lives of so many. Memories of her will bring warmth and a smile. She knew how to make each one of us feel welcomed, accepted, and loved. As many have said, the world needs more people like Ellen.

Ellen Kaufman, age 98, of Kalamazoo, died peacefully at her home on Friday, May 30, 2025. Members of her family include three daughters, Marianne Lizza-Irwin (Key Irwin), Julie Kaufman, and Carol Kaufman (Tom Heese); four grandchildren, Sarah Meyers, Mallory Gross (JP), Caitlin Lizza (fiancé, Scott Cleveland), and Bex Heese; two great-grandchildren, Addison Gross and Cory Gross; and three nieces, Jane McGovern (John), Christine Corlett, and Rita Tinberg (Warren) and their families. Mass will be held at 12 noon on Wednesday, June 4, 2025, at St. Augustine Cathedral, 542 West Michigan Ave. Burial will follow at Fort Custer National Cemetery. Celebrate Ellen’s life online by sharing your favorite stories and photos on the dedicated webpage at BetzlerLifeStory.com.